"A committee is a thing which takes a week to do what one good man can do in an hour."

"How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success?"

"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."

"An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness."

"A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join."

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing."

"Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not."

"Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today."

"Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer."

"The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits."

"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

"Of children as of procreation - the pleasure momentary, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable."